5 Things You Think Are Romantic But Actually Aren't

Contrary to popular belief, romance isn’t dead. It’s just less dramatic than it used to be. After all, in 2019, you’re far more likely to see someone conveying their warmest “I love you” to his or her S.O. by simply doing the laundry—or getting up early to make breakfast—than shouting it from the rooftops, or pouring it out in iambic pentameter.


1. Surprising Your S.O. at His or Her Home




In the romcoms of the 1990s, men never hesitate to spontaneously show up at someone’s apartment to either apologize for some relationship-related misdeed or to win someone’s affection. But let’s face it: in real life, showing up at someone’s residence without warning is super invasive.


If you want to see someone, it’s much more polite to text them first and organize a mutually convenient place and time. If you just show up unannounced, you’re going to look desperate at best—creepy at worst. (And yes, this goes for both genders.)


2. Lurking Outside the Bedroom with a Boombox


Everyone fell in love with John Cusack in Cameron Crowe‘s 1989 hit film Say Anything. After all, it contains the world-famous scene in which Cusack’s character blasts Peter Gabriel‘s “In Your Eyes” on a boombox while standing silently outside his beloved’s bedroom window. (In fact, this film should have really been called Say Nothing and Let Peter Gabriel Do the Talking.)


But unless you’re pulling this stunt as some sort of ironic inside joke, we’d urge you to refer to the previous tip. (Also, where did you even find a boombox?)


3. Making Out in the Rain




In the movies, this looks really romantic. But, in real life, it’s cold, it’s wet, and you’re probably going to get sick. Plus, peeling off wet jeans is a nightmare, and a real mood-killer once you get back inside. There’s a reason we have umbrellas.


4. Throwing Pebbles at Her Window for Her Attention

Captain Von Trapp did not appreciate it when Rolf did this in The Sound of Music, and neither does basically anyone in modern society. You have a phone. Use it.


5. Risking Your Life to Ask Someone Out

In The Notebook, Noah (Ryan Gosling) convinces Allie (Rachel McAdams) to go out with him as dangles off of a Ferris wheel with just one arm. It comes off as super-sweet in the movie—largely because, you know, he’s Ryan Gosling—but, in real life, this kind of behavior is dangerous, somewhat psycho, and on the verge of bullying.